Dear Debbrah,
I am still trying to get over him but I don’t know if I can.<a href=”” title=”Read the rest of ” class=”more-link”>Read the rest of this entry »
There is this new person though. Its not like we are dating but it feels like we are,  he’s the definition of everything you want in a guy. We talk everyday and we are getting pretty close like not just any kind of close. I don’t want to rush things though I really really like him. My ex still comes to mind over and over again, calls to check up on me, sends me messages and I think he still wants things to work out between us because he said so but I am not sure anymore. I can’t deprive myself of something good just because someone else didn’t appreciate me and took me for granted. I really don’t want a rebound relationship with this guy and I feel it is already. I want to open up to him the way he wants me too but I am confused. I don’t know what to do. I still love my ex and this new guy makes me happy always.
I need your advice.


P.S: Dear readers please give Sarah a word or two of advice.
You can send your questions to


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Thomas says:

    My own suggestion is stay away from relationship for now if you feel something like rebound is about to happen.

    Secondly, I don't want to bore you with “no sex before marriage “… I've come to understand that girls go into relationship with the view that it will end up in marriage. Thats a fantastic thinking, but at the same time we've got to think and plan. God has given us the brain to think. You are pretty lady, and a guy who is your age mate and your classmate is going out with yoU… here is a break down of what possibly would hhappen ;
    Lets assume you are 20 years old and the guy is 21 years old or even your age mate. You may have the dream of getting married at the age of 24 or 25,but really… do you think a guy is ready to marry at the age of 25 26? When he has not started working in full, he has lots of things to plan on Lots of things. I'm a guy,and I can assure guys think this way. all I'm just saying is we should not fall into the trap of feelings alone or else we might fall into that emotional trap and remain caged and eventually become frustrated.

    Now to come back to your post,Sarah, the first question that came to my mind was “Why did you two break up in the first place? ” and “what makes you think it will not happen again?”….
    Second thing is, if the break up happened recently don't think of finding another guy immediately cos it's really really dangerous. A friend if mine loved a girl.. and he even told me he will marry her and I believed…and these 2 were always together since first year…when we got to 300level the girl found out that the guy she has been pursuing before she met my friend has started noticing her… to cut the long story, she apologized to my friend and said she loved the other guy first and she needs some time off.what she was simply saying was she didn't really like my friend but just enjoyed the company and all that and she left. this made my friend break down not only with tears but also fell sick, cos he had the dream of getting married to her and he has told his mum already since beginning, and the girl he loved said she doesn't like him back,after 3 years. Thats the most evil thing a girl will ever do to a guy-staying with him for the wrong reason. Now we are in our 4th year and this by friend has become hard hearted towards girls.I can't even count how many girls waved at him or said hi to him or trying to gain his attention, but all he does is look back at them and walk away.this is because he's still pained, and I fear cos I really don't want that to happen to me.

    my friend Sarah,pleas, if you really just left a relationship, don't bother finding another immediately,cos the person you are doing harm to is the guy,not only yourself.

    One might be saying, “you are not a girl you won't understand how it feels”… true, if I was a girl, I will weigh it… I will simply wait and see who breaks first. A guy might be interested in a girl because of what he wants from her, and when he sees no response, he finds alternative.

    So,I will suggest you wait to regain yourself and see who breaks first.

    I know I've spoken alot but I hope that it helped a little.

    Thomas ��


  2. Avoke says:

    No offense but you need to work on yourself if you're thinking of having a good relationship life. And haven't you heard of “good riddance to bad rubbish”? The guy is your ex for a reason. I dunno you but I'm thinking you change your mind very easily and probably because of your feelings but I think its time you start thinking of what you want in a relationship and start working towards it.


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